Judgement

He said we live different lives, we lead different paths.

He said I was one thing and he was another.

He had the “perfect” life, comparably mine was a mess.

He made his mistakes and I made mine.

I didn’t know different lives or different paths meant one was wrong and the other was right.

I thought we would never judge but it seems yet again,

I am the one with the fingers and words pointed towards me in the end

I swore to myself that I would see beauty and kindness through heartache and pain,

That I would never judge someone for not being like me, as long as whom they were made them happy.

I will not sit and hear those words, to feel guilty when I gave up so much

I will not stand by and doubt who I am just because I am different to them, or her, or even him

Judge me but know this about me,

I notice the pace of the clouds as they travel across the sky,

I notice the pain in someone’s life by when their tone of voice is too high,

I notice when someone is aggravated or anxious from their flittering concentration or occasional longer gasps for air

I notice that autumn skies are purple and summers are pink like candy at a fair,

I acknowledge the privilege to travel on a giant metal bird, to wave to the clouds below and to let this ground me,

I acknowledge my flaws, I acknowledge my insecurities, I accept those because I acknowledge my depth,

I walk forward knowing the people I wanted to, may not acknowledge that depth.

Doubt me, judge me or love me. I don’t care, it no longer impacts me.

I will not stand by and doubt who I am just because I am different to them or her or him.

I am proud of this girl, no, I am proud of this woman.

I don’t seek your validation or theirs.

I don’t need your attention, I don’t need theirs,

the gratitude and lack of judgement I have for life means, I just don’t care.